I've been overwhelmed lately with so many things, and sinking deeper into the couch because of it. This morning, I decided to list all the overwhelming things to make them concrete. Actionable. Then, I decided to grab just ONE overwhelming item from my list to just get STARTED. Just start!
So I picked, "clear out the landing so you can actually use this space for something other than storing useless items." It was overwhelming because I had to sell some larger stuff: a spare TV we didn't need, a rabbit run used to house my kids hedgehogs that died six months ago, and a Bow-Flex I bought during covid that has been collecting dust for years. Every time I walk past it I'm reminded of that foolish decision made in the depth of lockdown. So I went upstairs, dusted the items off, took pictures and listed them on online. Done. I felt a little better already.
Then I got a call for the rabbit run. A woman wanted to pick it up right away. Then again for the TV. Then again for the Bow-Flex. Could they pick up this afternoon as their son with the truck was off work today. Within four hours of listing, all three items were gone. I went up with a bag and boxes and cleared out the rest, either trash or donations and loaded up the grabage bins and the car. Ran the vacuum over the now empty space. Then I was standing in a cleared, clean landing, ready to re-make into actual usable space. That was an hour ago. Then I decided to make a tea and head to my office to check Substack.
Mine is a silly story, a mundane one, yet when I am overwhelmed it all feels un-doable. Too much. That it took a total of six hours to sell three large items and clean out a formerly cluttered landing in my house is testament to just taking action! It does work and my stress level is so much lower.
Just start. Do something. Anything. It is the prevarication, the thinking, getting lost in our heads that damns us. The blunderers have easier life, even if their lives look like a disaster.
But it is the overthinkers, the hesitaters, that have a hard time of it. And yet the antidote is always there. Act. Do. Anything counts.
So your anecdote is apt. And it doesn't just work for clutter. It works even for the big things like career or meeting new people. Action trumps almost everything else.
“what action can I now take? What must I do in the real world outside of my head? There is usually something.”
There’s a very old spiritual aphorism that says there is always something within 3 feet of us that we can practically take action upon in order to further our goals and desires.
Interesting read. Yes, the antidote is action. Always.
As for the Progressives, they are active, I will give them that. They care about their causes, even though most of them seem to have been implanted inside their heads. The topic of my next piece.
All that complicated recycling, buying humanely raised meats, fair trade coffee, etc. serves a real purpose. It allows lefties to listen to dire news without going into unproductive conspiracy mode.
I’ve been experimenting with different ways to engage with people who have a victim mentality, and so far, instilling a sense of wonder has been the most powerful catalyst for change. Rather than validate their feelings, ask questions that gently lead them to challenge their own thinking, the right one is like a lightning bolt that fractures their self-image as a martyr and they are forced to self-reflect on it. It’s fascinating to witness.
That sounds amazing. Id love to know more. I agree about challenging their thoughts. But how do you instill a sense of wonder? Plus victimhood must be quite comforting and would be difficult to relinquish.
Wonder is the language of the spirit and validation is the language of the ego.
Instead of reinforcing their false sense of self through validation, you can crack into their spirit by asking:
“What if there is an ideal solution within your control? What if the answer lies in the questions you ask rather than the perfect answer? What if the solution is already deep within you and you just have look in the right place to find it?”
This encourages them to reconsider their narrative on a spiritual level and empowers them to see themselves as truth-seeking agents of change rather than egocentric passive observers.
But if they are particularly rigid, sometimes they may shut down or become dismissive because deep down, they don’t actually want to be agents of change. They’re just looking for attention and your questioning made them suddenly aware of their ego, which they probably didn’t know was there.
Regardless, it plants a seed that will inevitably push them toward growth because no one can ignore lingering cognitive dissonance on the spiritual level forever.
One tiny but important correction: helpless and overwhelmed are not feelings, but beliefs. They originate in the frontal lobe, not the limbic system. As such, they can be modified by thinking differently, as you illustrate.
Knowing the difference between thinking and feeling is critical to doing something about either, or both.
Here's a video explainer I put together a few years ago:
Perhaps. But people rightly or wrongly report they FEEL overwhelmed or helpless. So while they originate in the frontal lobe, they end up elsewhere.
I will check out your video. But I do think it is important to tune into how people convey these things in an attempt to get the idea across.
That said, the goal is an intervention. To encourage higher agency, a belief they can change and act on the world. So perhaps emphasizing these difference matters.
Oh absolutely. Language matters a great deal insofar as how our brains process whether what we say verbally is possible to alter. Call it a thought and your brain registers it as changeable. Call it a feeling and your brain thinks it can't be changed; hence all the victimhood based on "I feel like a failure" or "I feel like I'm worthless" and so on.
I just refuse to cede the language regardless of what society is using because society is incorrect. And it is (in some instance literally) killing us.
Edit: BTW, I'll be printing this out on Monday and putting it into our rack in the lobby.
This is too ironic that you posted this today.
I've been overwhelmed lately with so many things, and sinking deeper into the couch because of it. This morning, I decided to list all the overwhelming things to make them concrete. Actionable. Then, I decided to grab just ONE overwhelming item from my list to just get STARTED. Just start!
So I picked, "clear out the landing so you can actually use this space for something other than storing useless items." It was overwhelming because I had to sell some larger stuff: a spare TV we didn't need, a rabbit run used to house my kids hedgehogs that died six months ago, and a Bow-Flex I bought during covid that has been collecting dust for years. Every time I walk past it I'm reminded of that foolish decision made in the depth of lockdown. So I went upstairs, dusted the items off, took pictures and listed them on online. Done. I felt a little better already.
Then I got a call for the rabbit run. A woman wanted to pick it up right away. Then again for the TV. Then again for the Bow-Flex. Could they pick up this afternoon as their son with the truck was off work today. Within four hours of listing, all three items were gone. I went up with a bag and boxes and cleared out the rest, either trash or donations and loaded up the grabage bins and the car. Ran the vacuum over the now empty space. Then I was standing in a cleared, clean landing, ready to re-make into actual usable space. That was an hour ago. Then I decided to make a tea and head to my office to check Substack.
Mine is a silly story, a mundane one, yet when I am overwhelmed it all feels un-doable. Too much. That it took a total of six hours to sell three large items and clean out a formerly cluttered landing in my house is testament to just taking action! It does work and my stress level is so much lower.
Just start it.
Just start. Do something. Anything. It is the prevarication, the thinking, getting lost in our heads that damns us. The blunderers have easier life, even if their lives look like a disaster.
But it is the overthinkers, the hesitaters, that have a hard time of it. And yet the antidote is always there. Act. Do. Anything counts.
So your anecdote is apt. And it doesn't just work for clutter. It works even for the big things like career or meeting new people. Action trumps almost everything else.
“what action can I now take? What must I do in the real world outside of my head? There is usually something.”
There’s a very old spiritual aphorism that says there is always something within 3 feet of us that we can practically take action upon in order to further our goals and desires.
That sounds about right. I think it is operating in the real world and not inside our minds that may matter the most.
Excellent!
You have discovered the Yellow Pill -- which is the progressive Left's superpower.
https://rulesforreactionaries.substack.com/p/take-the-yellow-pill
Interesting read. Yes, the antidote is action. Always.
As for the Progressives, they are active, I will give them that. They care about their causes, even though most of them seem to have been implanted inside their heads. The topic of my next piece.
All that complicated recycling, buying humanely raised meats, fair trade coffee, etc. serves a real purpose. It allows lefties to listen to dire news without going into unproductive conspiracy mode.
That too is a good point.
Every word of this resonates. Thank you.
Thanks, Katy. I appreciate you reading.
I’ve been experimenting with different ways to engage with people who have a victim mentality, and so far, instilling a sense of wonder has been the most powerful catalyst for change. Rather than validate their feelings, ask questions that gently lead them to challenge their own thinking, the right one is like a lightning bolt that fractures their self-image as a martyr and they are forced to self-reflect on it. It’s fascinating to witness.
That sounds amazing. Id love to know more. I agree about challenging their thoughts. But how do you instill a sense of wonder? Plus victimhood must be quite comforting and would be difficult to relinquish.
Wonder is the language of the spirit and validation is the language of the ego.
Instead of reinforcing their false sense of self through validation, you can crack into their spirit by asking:
“What if there is an ideal solution within your control? What if the answer lies in the questions you ask rather than the perfect answer? What if the solution is already deep within you and you just have look in the right place to find it?”
This encourages them to reconsider their narrative on a spiritual level and empowers them to see themselves as truth-seeking agents of change rather than egocentric passive observers.
But if they are particularly rigid, sometimes they may shut down or become dismissive because deep down, they don’t actually want to be agents of change. They’re just looking for attention and your questioning made them suddenly aware of their ego, which they probably didn’t know was there.
Regardless, it plants a seed that will inevitably push them toward growth because no one can ignore lingering cognitive dissonance on the spiritual level forever.
That is interesting. Food for thought.
Very inspiring !
Good to hear.
Living in the countryside, especially when you're really in the boonies, means there's always stuff to do. Sometimes, its even stuff you want to do.
And sometimes, it's pumping out the sewage well because the snowmelt has flooded it.
Definitely an action I would avoid, lol.
You already know I agree with this, Spiff. Sound points well made.
Agency is king.
Great article yet again.
One tiny but important correction: helpless and overwhelmed are not feelings, but beliefs. They originate in the frontal lobe, not the limbic system. As such, they can be modified by thinking differently, as you illustrate.
Knowing the difference between thinking and feeling is critical to doing something about either, or both.
Here's a video explainer I put together a few years ago:
https://www.zephyrwellness.org/emotional-functioning
Perhaps. But people rightly or wrongly report they FEEL overwhelmed or helpless. So while they originate in the frontal lobe, they end up elsewhere.
I will check out your video. But I do think it is important to tune into how people convey these things in an attempt to get the idea across.
That said, the goal is an intervention. To encourage higher agency, a belief they can change and act on the world. So perhaps emphasizing these difference matters.
Oh absolutely. Language matters a great deal insofar as how our brains process whether what we say verbally is possible to alter. Call it a thought and your brain registers it as changeable. Call it a feeling and your brain thinks it can't be changed; hence all the victimhood based on "I feel like a failure" or "I feel like I'm worthless" and so on.
I just refuse to cede the language regardless of what society is using because society is incorrect. And it is (in some instance literally) killing us.
Edit: BTW, I'll be printing this out on Monday and putting it into our rack in the lobby.
Thank you. And thanks for your insights too.