29 Comments
Apr 7Liked by Spaceman Spiff

Wow. Nice job, I love it. Hope you write more. Really takes “Keeping up with the Joneses” to a new level. And hits way too close to home.

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author

Thank you for reading it. Glad you enjoyed. When they do impose some kind of social credit scheme that is how it will be enforced, by your fellow countrymen.

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Sad but true. Have you ever seen The Orville episode, “Majority Rule”? Along the same lines.

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No I haven't seen the show at all.

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I watched the series (3 seasons) with my two 20-something sons. They both liked Star Trek and ST:TNG and we ended up really enjoying it. Starts out a little rough and corny but gets better.

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I know plenty of trekkies preferred it to the trash they are now making.

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Yeah, I won’t even watch any of the new Star Trek shows.

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There was a Black Mirror episode that was about a social credit score system and the psychological effect it had on the people consumed by it. Not a pretty outcome. Your story had me engaged to the end.

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Apr 8·edited Apr 8Author

Thank you. You are very kind. I didn't think anyone would plow through 12000 words. 🙂

They know their psychology, which worries me. We are already consumed by consumption.

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I'm a bit of an outlier, or more likely just older generation. I like long form, meaty, get into it type writing and other media. You write well, and I think I am able to judge that accurately - I read 12 hours a day almost and none of it falls into the category of junk or information-lite. My brain is so crammed with excellent knowledge I can't even access most of it😩. Ram is too limited and forced to purge on a nightly basis, haha, since I can only use a fraction of what is stored in me old cranium.

Consumption is like a drug, especially for the soft, pampered, relatively wealthy people of the West. Again, I'm an outlier. I'm not a miser but wealth for me is measured in having only as much as I need, which is minimal based on a comfortable but frugal lifestyle. I am fortunate in that my wants are few. Buying stuff for the sake of ownership or ego fulfillment is a pursuit that holds no interest. My simple motto on that account is "buy quality and durability and don't fix or get rid of it if it ain't broke" Works for me anyway. But you are correct in noticing that wealthy western countries are consumerist societies and a social credit system is primed for taking advantage of that.

We should use cash as much as possible for what little good that will do to keep it in circulation, and rein in our propensity i.e. human nature to give up our zeal for convenience.

I do enjoy your comments on other stacks we both read and your own writings on Postcards. Keep it up and thank you for letting us know how you see it.

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author

Thank you for your kind comments. I too like long form and will take the time to read it.

I have other short stories on their way. Plus I am considering writing a novel and posting it on here one chapter at a time. So keep your eyes peeled for that.

I am interested in the world and do write nonfiction of course. But I also want to explore these ideas via fiction too as it provides different ways to examine ideas. I don't plan the fiction nearly as much and try to let things emerge from the story. The original intent with this story was about consumption but the social credit element and what it did to the couple just happened as a result.

I do think conservative and non-Left writers do need to explore more through fiction.

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I will definitely look forward to reading your shorts and novel as it progresses.

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author

Good. That's one reader then 🙂

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haha, I bet that will grow way beyond that, at least for the readers who still exist. We're kind of aging out of the population unfortunately.

I've considered posting one or two of my short stories on Substack but I'm just not brave enough. Besides, I'm not sure my stuff would be very well regarded. It's (now don't judge me) mostly erotic-lite fantasy, very over-wrought and would only appeal to women who like romance, which is funny since I've never read a romance novel in my life, nor even 50 Shades of Grey. LOL

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Apr 11Liked by Spaceman Spiff

Well, I am not a great reader of fiction but FWIW that really kept me guessing at what might happen to the main character right to the end. I like the economy of words and just enough descriptive prose without too much where it can lose the narrative pace (but what the heck do I know of course!). And the stark images inserted are a great enhancer of the austere feel of the piece. Really excellent. Thanks for posting this!

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author

Thank you for your kind words. It every encouraging as I didn't think many would read it.

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Apr 17Liked by Spaceman Spiff

You're welcome. What I meant to add is that in the end, it maybe felt as if it was Part 1 of a story, as I think the event in the tower then made me think about how the two other main characters would deal with the consequences, and what those would look like in this world you depicted. Just a thought that struck me!

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The very opening scene at the beginning is set a month or two after the events. And alas life just returns to normal for them.

That was really the original idea, rather than social credit etc. Just the banality of it all. Even death only interrupts the routine briefly.

I am considering serially publishing a book on here too. I am considering writing it as a I go. Something I have never tried. So perhaps more dystopian craziness to come.

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Apr 17Liked by Spaceman Spiff

Oh yes, apologies ! The name hadn't registered with me properly. And in that light it is more rounded. The re-programming being then so complete that even death loses its context for humans. Very apposite.

A book is a big undertaking for sure, but good luck with it. I am sure there will be a lot of interest.

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Hope so 🙂

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Great from start to finish! I hope you’ll be writing more fiction going forward.

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Thanks for reading. And yes, plenty more where that came from.

I'm thinking about writing a novel and serializing it on here. I think using fiction to explore ideas helps keep things interesting.

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Apr 8Liked by Spaceman Spiff

Well written. Captured the essence.

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author

Thank you.

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Nice. We think alike, heh.

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What, depressingly bleak? Lol.

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