I'm reminded of quote by Charles Bukowski: "Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?" It's unfortunate that so many can't remember; they lose themselves in the expectations of others or of society. I don't mean obligations; that's different, but you can keep your self intact and keep your obligations. As a recovered alcoholic much of drinking arose from a feeling of being trapped in a life I abhorred without an escape. Once I realized that I could be true to myself and still meet my obligations, that I could separate the things I had committed to from the things that I was guilted in to doing, my recovery finally took hold and I lost that obsession to drink. But it's so hard to see that. I don't know if I make any sense there but your essay got me thinking about this.
I am pleased to hear it got you thinking, even if it was painful. We are so bombarded with dopamine traps it can be hard to feel anything authentic at times.
And I understand that tension. I have felt trapped many times. Lots of people do. The dead end job that is killing you but the alternative is risky when you have obligations. Relationships it is difficult to leave behind because the other person is dependent on you in some way.
Life is complex. That is just one reason I so loathe our psychopathic leaders and elites. The total lack of empathy for anyone. The belief whole layers of society are just pawns to be moved around a chess board. No humanity. And yet it is humanity that we all share, even the psychopaths. And one aspect of that shared humanity is the inevitability of death.
Oh, it's not painful; part of recovery is dealing with the past and if you've dealt with it it's not painful at all. I can recognize it and talk about it without any problem; my problem back then was I couldn't even see it.
The key concept here is own your choices. Once you start doing that, you can figure out which choices were bad (largely that means stop blaming others) or weren't right for you and eventually you start making better ones for you. That's self-awareness; the link between your actions and the outcomes in your life (especially your emotionally life). Some people get it early on; it took me more than 40 years to figure it out 😂
The key is right on the Alcoholic Anonymous sobriety chip..."To your own self be true." You know what's right for you, what will keep you from drinking again. Do that. Don't let others manipulate you into doing something else.
I will never forget the horror in the eyes of my grandmother as we walked away from her death bed. Hospice was not such a thing then. She did not live a well examined life and it showed. But she lit that in me, the will to die well.
I think related, I have been doing a series on the training of the Octagon Society, Order of Spiritual Alchemy, which is consciously examining ones life, like self-psychoanalysis, to turn the detritus of trauma etc into the gold of mental, physical and spiritual strength. It is not for everybody. This is the latest in the series. All the posts are linked. https://williamhunterduncan.substack.com/p/the-law-of-joy
That was some excellent writing, Spiff. I suspect you struggled with the title. Personally, I have sometimes believed my existence centered on my killing a particular insect. Kurt Vonnegut once said the purpose of life is to fart around.
While dying is not a positive thought, death might be the best thing to happen to us. Surprises await!
The title was a little provocative. Glad you liked it. Maybe death is the end or maybe it's not. But a little focus on it from time to time can help us focus.
A good question to ask ourselves sometimes when we attach too much weight or importance to some decision or issue:
“You know you’re gonna die, right?“. I find it can help get you out of that momentary novelty fixation you describe. When we remind ourselves that most daily concerns are in the final sense unimportant, it helps us to recalibrate how we prioritize our concerns. Great post.
Reading a book you’ve had to discover, purchase and consciously make time to read is different from sitting slumped on a couch as a documentary plays on TV.
Almost nobody today understands this. They're both forms of entertainment! You unwind one way, but I unwind a different way! One isn't better than another!
As you said, all of these little daily choices determine our destiny. They are *not* trivial matters.
That worries me too. I have read quite a bit of classical history, Greece and Rome etc. I remember catching a history of Rome on TV after years of reading actual books. I don't wish to sound like a snob but watching reenactments of Caesar's death, with a bunch of guys with cut-glass English accents, all interspersed with dramatic voice overs from the "serious" narrator. Well, what can you say. History for dopes.
An excellent piece about the importance of finding REAL fulfillment of our personal definitions of life’s meaning. Also a subtle nudge and a reminder that everything on this plane including our very selves are all 100% TEMPORARY.. so act accordingly.
This is a great article. I have found great peace in knowing that I am in the will of God, attempting to accomplish what I was created for. After 38 years of living depressed, abusing myself with drugs and alcohol, and being diagnosed with BiPolar mood disorder, then thankfully delivered from it, I know these things to be true. And the worst thing we can do is to live our lives in regret, and to take things for granted.
I'm reminded of quote by Charles Bukowski: "Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?" It's unfortunate that so many can't remember; they lose themselves in the expectations of others or of society. I don't mean obligations; that's different, but you can keep your self intact and keep your obligations. As a recovered alcoholic much of drinking arose from a feeling of being trapped in a life I abhorred without an escape. Once I realized that I could be true to myself and still meet my obligations, that I could separate the things I had committed to from the things that I was guilted in to doing, my recovery finally took hold and I lost that obsession to drink. But it's so hard to see that. I don't know if I make any sense there but your essay got me thinking about this.
I am pleased to hear it got you thinking, even if it was painful. We are so bombarded with dopamine traps it can be hard to feel anything authentic at times.
And I understand that tension. I have felt trapped many times. Lots of people do. The dead end job that is killing you but the alternative is risky when you have obligations. Relationships it is difficult to leave behind because the other person is dependent on you in some way.
Life is complex. That is just one reason I so loathe our psychopathic leaders and elites. The total lack of empathy for anyone. The belief whole layers of society are just pawns to be moved around a chess board. No humanity. And yet it is humanity that we all share, even the psychopaths. And one aspect of that shared humanity is the inevitability of death.
Oh, it's not painful; part of recovery is dealing with the past and if you've dealt with it it's not painful at all. I can recognize it and talk about it without any problem; my problem back then was I couldn't even see it.
The key concept here is own your choices. Once you start doing that, you can figure out which choices were bad (largely that means stop blaming others) or weren't right for you and eventually you start making better ones for you. That's self-awareness; the link between your actions and the outcomes in your life (especially your emotionally life). Some people get it early on; it took me more than 40 years to figure it out 😂
The key is right on the Alcoholic Anonymous sobriety chip..."To your own self be true." You know what's right for you, what will keep you from drinking again. Do that. Don't let others manipulate you into doing something else.
I am pleased to hear you mastered yourself enough to do this. If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger.
Yeah, but at least with alcohol I've seen it kill more people than make them stronger...just an unfortunate reality.
Of course. All temptation is tempting, and it is hard to break away.
Damn, that picture looks like someone who didn't look away at the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark!"
Excellent piece. Not an easy subject to cover, but you did it very elegantly.
It is CGI. But it seemed fitting. I didn't want some twee nice thing. It had to look like death.
And thanks for reading.
This was great! I’m glad you sent me here to read this.
“If you die before you die, you won’t die when you die”. Great topic. Helpful
I will never forget the horror in the eyes of my grandmother as we walked away from her death bed. Hospice was not such a thing then. She did not live a well examined life and it showed. But she lit that in me, the will to die well.
Well the unexamined life is not worth living. The trick is to regularly evaluate where you are.
Easier said than done. But seeing someone at the end who believes they threw it away is difficult to watch.
I think related, I have been doing a series on the training of the Octagon Society, Order of Spiritual Alchemy, which is consciously examining ones life, like self-psychoanalysis, to turn the detritus of trauma etc into the gold of mental, physical and spiritual strength. It is not for everybody. This is the latest in the series. All the posts are linked. https://williamhunterduncan.substack.com/p/the-law-of-joy
That was some excellent writing, Spiff. I suspect you struggled with the title. Personally, I have sometimes believed my existence centered on my killing a particular insect. Kurt Vonnegut once said the purpose of life is to fart around.
While dying is not a positive thought, death might be the best thing to happen to us. Surprises await!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD4jHDvNB80
Bob Dylan - Death Is Not the End (Official Audio) - YouTube
The title was a little provocative. Glad you liked it. Maybe death is the end or maybe it's not. But a little focus on it from time to time can help us focus.
A good question to ask ourselves sometimes when we attach too much weight or importance to some decision or issue:
“You know you’re gonna die, right?“. I find it can help get you out of that momentary novelty fixation you describe. When we remind ourselves that most daily concerns are in the final sense unimportant, it helps us to recalibrate how we prioritize our concerns. Great post.
Totally agree. Even fairly big decisions. Will I care at the end?
Thanks for reading.
Reading a book you’ve had to discover, purchase and consciously make time to read is different from sitting slumped on a couch as a documentary plays on TV.
Almost nobody today understands this. They're both forms of entertainment! You unwind one way, but I unwind a different way! One isn't better than another!
As you said, all of these little daily choices determine our destiny. They are *not* trivial matters.
That worries me too. I have read quite a bit of classical history, Greece and Rome etc. I remember catching a history of Rome on TV after years of reading actual books. I don't wish to sound like a snob but watching reenactments of Caesar's death, with a bunch of guys with cut-glass English accents, all interspersed with dramatic voice overs from the "serious" narrator. Well, what can you say. History for dopes.
Absolutely. It's for children.
Yes, especially the reenactments.
A powerful post from everyone's favorite spaceman!
"No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide." - Fight Club
The "two deaths" aphorism reminds me of a great story told by my man David Goggins:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbgTPbaku8s
Great video. Sums it up well. Don't be the 300lb guy who didn't try. At least give something a go.
"His name was Robert Paulson!" haha
But yeah, it is a powerful message that we would all do well to consider. Great job exploring the topic!
Cheers. Always good to tackle something relentlessly depressing 😜
An excellent piece about the importance of finding REAL fulfillment of our personal definitions of life’s meaning. Also a subtle nudge and a reminder that everything on this plane including our very selves are all 100% TEMPORARY.. so act accordingly.
This is a great article. I have found great peace in knowing that I am in the will of God, attempting to accomplish what I was created for. After 38 years of living depressed, abusing myself with drugs and alcohol, and being diagnosed with BiPolar mood disorder, then thankfully delivered from it, I know these things to be true. And the worst thing we can do is to live our lives in regret, and to take things for granted.
Memento mori! A powerful post from everyone's favorite spaceman!
"No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide." - Fight Club
The "two deaths" aphorism reminds me of a great story told by my man David Goggins:
youtube.com/watch?v=FbgTPbaku8s